Love You Grandma Millie Ashby!

I can't Sleep! My mom sent a text yesterday night at 7:03 saying:
"Gpa Ashby just called. The Paramedics are there cutting Gma's clothes off. He said that he went down, she was unconscious and had thrown up. He couldn't go into more detail. They are obviously working on her still. He will follow them to the hospital. I will let you know more when I know more."

I actually didn't notice I got the text. I was putting up Halloween Decorations and Kael was in his swing. Ammon Called at 7:10 asking if I got the message. I hadn't read it yet so Ammon filled me in. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't like to think of my grandma in that state. An hour later I asked my mom if she heard anything...Nope.. Then Ammon asked me at 8:20 If I had heard anymore and I told him no and he said "hope she is okay." Then I said "Me too. It is so scary. She is too young to die." My Grandma was always so active and lively up until this past year and she was just starting to be herself again after her heart surgeries and first stroke.

At 8:53 my mom sent another text saying.. "Gary just called. Gma is on a respirator still unconscious. They don't know more- What is wrong or why it happened. They are doing tests." I didn't know what to think. My Grandma had been through so much so she would have to get through this. I didn't want to believe what was happening. I thought somehow she would pull through! I thought about her before I went to bed around 1:30 and woke up at 3:3o to feed Kael. I went back to sleep and the next thing I hear is Ammon saying "it's your mom!" My mom was calling. I knew why and I refused to answer it. I couldn't handle it to hear what I knew she would say! Ammon, being such an amazing husband, answered it. I heard him say "NO!" his voice was filled with pain! I could tell it hurt him to hear the news.

My Grandma, Millie Ashby, has passed away!

It is something that I have feared for the past year now. Ever since her heart surgeries. My Grandma has always been there through everything and I couldn't imagine a thanksgiving, a Christmas, or a Birthday without her! To not hear her voice or to see her sweet smile! It is going to be hard!

I have seriously grown to admire my Grandma Ashby! She always looked for the positives in everything and everyone. She said "Life is too short to hold a grudge" I hope that I can be more like she was.

It is going to be so weird without my Grandma here. I really worry about my Grandpa. He truly adores her and I hate to think of the pain he is feeling. This will be hard on him.

This past Sunday was General Conference. My parents told me they were going to go see Grandma and Grandpa Ashby and Carter. I asked Ammon if he wanted to go even though I knew he had a lot of homework. He thought it would be important if we went. In between sessions we left and headed to Orem. I wasn't sure if my parents would still be at Ashby's but they were (and I am so grateful for that. If they weren't there we might- well probably would not have went.)We went and ate KFC, my Grandma's favorite! My mom cleaned a little and we all talked. My Grandma showed us the house floor plan she wanted to build over in West Jordan! They had been looking at houses to move closer to us so they could see us more often and we could help them easier. (My Grandma once told me that it wasnt too different going from a mother to a grandmother because her kids always brought their children around but that it was difficult going from a grandmother to a great grandmother because she didn't see us as often.. that breaks my heart!) Before we left to go to my Grandma's house,I had talked to Ammon about getting a picture of Kael and my Grandparents. I just thought of how I didn't have any pictures with them and my sweet baby and it was something I really wanted. In the back of my mind I knew it was something I might not get to do if I waited too long. It was like something was urging me to get a picture or else I would regret it! I watched as my Grandma held Kael, smiling and playing with him. It was like something was telling me to savor every moment. It was a beautiful sight to see both Kael and my Grandma enjoy each others presence. Something was telling me to savor every moment! It is a sight I will never forget!

My mom told me that she was surprised with how much my Grandma was playing with him and how she wanted to hold him because she hasn't been much of a baby person. But they were so involved in one another. My Grandma was talking to Kael and he was just staring at her, taking it all in.. Learning what he could from that short time with her. I remember thinking it was amazing. I got my picture of my Grandma and my baby Kael! It was the last photo taken of her before she passed away!